Updated: Mar 7, 2021
I haven’t had much to say lately. Anyone who knows me, knows that doesn’t happen often. I try to write and either it doesn’t make sense or I get distracted. I want to be able to share some wisdom. Something I’ve learned about life during this isolation, but the well seems dry.
I was both nervous and excited when I found out I was being furloughed. Nervous because anything not in my plans makes me apprehensive. Excited because I was bound and determined to use this time to better myself.
I’ve prayed. I’ve meditated. Released some songs. I guess to many I’ve been productive.
Introspection…another word for slowly driving yourself temporarily insane. I’ve spent the last few weeks on a roller coaster and if I’m being honest, I feel more exhausted now than when I first went on furlough.
My sleep cycle is jacked up. My diet and exercise are on track finally after two years of living without balance. I’ve meditated enough to probably get a job as a Yogi. And yet I’m lost.
So as I try to find myself again, I thought maybe communicating with the child still somewhere inside me…the one that felt lost a lot growing up, may could help.
Dear Younger Me,
There is going to come a time in your life when you forget who you are.
People will constantly try to tell you who they think you should be, who you shouldn’t be and who you most definitely are not. They will tell you what is practical and what is foolish and should never be attempted. Ignore these people. Some will even disguise themselves as friends, but their opinions are still just their opinions and should have no bearing on your worth. Many times people measure your potential by their own shortcomings and self doubt.
Never put someone on a pedestal. Never have unrealistic expectations. People will let you down. Know that people will let you down. Some mean too, but many just can’t help it. It is part of being human. You will also let others down, so accept that now and take the pressure off yourself. You will never be perfect.
Being perfect, the smartest, the most anything….none of those are real, so stop trying to reach those things. They are relative terms that change like the weather. Your best is enough and when you are tired or sick or hurt….you are allowed to rest. Your worth is not based on your achievements. You are not more worthy because you make straight A’s, graduate Valedictorian or even become The President of the United States. You are more than a label.
When people hurt you, exclude you, or call you names, remember that is a reflection on them and not you. Hurting people hurt people. Never look down on someone else even if they hurt you. You too will hurt someone, whether intentional or not and will need to be forgiven.
There is a light in you that comes out when you are talking about or working on your passion. It’s different than anything else you exude. Don’t let that light dim. Others will see that light, so guard it. Some will try to use it. Some will try to hide it away, so it doesn’t shine brighter than theirs. While others will try to extinguish it completely. Many times it is because someone extinguished theirs before they even had a shot at using it. Hold onto that light with everything you got because it is your gift to the world.
You are going to face storms. Just like the light inside you, hold onto your faith during these times. God loves you. He created you. He gave you your light. He is aware of the storms and He will sustain you and help fight the battle.
There are many things in life that will make little to no sense to you as you go through them, but when you look back, you will see that God had purpose in all of it. If, however, you find yourself ever alone and afraid, know that God is right there. Know that while your questions may not be answered immediately, God still welcomes them. He doesn’t love you less when you come to Him with questions or even frustrations. After all, He designed you and already knew you would ask them.
When you do get everything you ever wanted, please remember it was only by God’s grace and will. Never forget how grateful you are to have it. Don’t let your heart be hardened by this world, by the mean spirits of others and negativity. Instead remain humble. Welcome heartbreak and the lessons it teaches, so that you can be even kinder to someone else that is hurting. Always be a friend…even if they don’t deserve it. Yes, kindness is taken advantage of, but it’s also contagious. So spread kindness like it’s your life’s mission.
Don’t forget you are beautiful. Not because of the way you look, but because of your heart. The light that radiates out of you is directly from your heart. God designed that heart specifically for you. Never let someone make you question whether it is good or worthy of being loved. People will break it, but hopefully the piece they break off will help theirs beat properly again.
Lastly, it will all be okay. Remember rainbows only appear after the storm.
Psalm 139:13-14 New International Version (NIV): For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well.